I can still remember the first time I got it back.
I was looking for a house to pick up an eBay purchase from – a baby paraphernalia bargain. I couldn’t find the property and kept driving round the same loop. A bit frustrated I said “I am so rubbish with directions, it is ridiculous.” Up pipes a little voice in the back “Don’t worry Mummy, sometimes I can’t do everything first time. Sometimes you just have to try again.” Tears filled my eyes, he was only three and a half.
I can still remember the first time I consciously tried it.
We had pretty much just pulled up outside playgroup. Me, my two year old and six month old. Without my baby bjorn it would have been impossible. My number one rule for the first four years, with two children 18 months apart has been at least one must be restrained when out and about. I had forgotten the baby bjorn; I had to go home and get it. I had recently read about the importance of being kind to yourself, as mirroring is one of the many (I reckon biggest?) ways that little people learn. So on the drive home I said to myself out loud, on a bit of a loop, “Don’t worry Mummy, everyone forgets things sometimes, it’s no big deal, you can pop back and get it.”
There have been many more times in between. I have many opportunities to practice being kind to myself – broken jars, forgotten wallets, lost keys, the list goes on…..and on…….
So he has got the be kind to me bit, he has copied it and is (sometimes) kind to me. It just needs to be ingrained so that he is automatically kind to himself as he learns and faces the inevitable challenges life brings.
And being kind to myself works for me too. Although I need some strategies as constantly rooting around in my bag / looking for my keys etc is a bit draining!